I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!!!!! 
It's the shampoo I use in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and (duh!) printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning, "FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY." NO wonder I have been gaining weight!!! 
Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start using Dawn dish soap instead. Its label reads, "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE." 
Problem solved! 
If I don't answer the phone... I'm in the shower! 
 
Brilliant!
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